Let's discuss jeans, shall we? A recent conversation about denim with three of my favorite ladies has had me rethinking my denim strategy. The thing is, I feel I do pretty well in the jeans department, but I figure there's always room for improvement.
I've been buying Gap jeans for years because they're easy, definitely on the affordable side of the denim spectrum, and fit well [enough]. But that's just the thing, now that I've had a baby, clothes that fit well [enough] are clothes that I'm not sure I want to be wearing anymore. I have what I guess would be considered a classic hourglass figure. Let's not all go thinking I look anything like Scarjo, though. I look a lot more like an un-photoshopped Scarjo... who eats her fair share of cookies, remembers to do her ab workouts roughly twice a year, AND grew a 10 pound baby. At barely 5'2, I am sadly short, but I have longer legs for my frame so petite sizes never fit me quite right. As you can see, I don't exactly have the easiest figure to dress for. Well, at least when it comes to jeans.
I decided long ago that I was never going to find the perfect jean, so it would probably be best to stop while I was ahead and stick with Gap jeans forever. I still do like the couple pairs that I own, but seeing as the last time I went shopping for pants I still had some leftover baby weight to lose, and am now a few pounds lighter than I was pre-Cheech, I should probably look into buying at least one pair that I'm not constantly having to pull up. And I'm ready to venture out into new denim horizons again.
As I'm sure you can tell, I'm quite picky (still have not picked a bag or a cake), and it's easy for me to find something, any little thing, wrong with just about every product out there. My criteria for the perfect pair of jeans is as follows:
1. They must be tight. I wear skinny jeans exclusively, so they've got to be snug. Baggy skinny jeans are so sad.
2. When I say skinny, I mean SKINNY. I want them to be tight down to the ankle. Straight-leg jeans are not skinny jeans, and happen to look horrible on me.
3. I know all denim stretches with wear, and I am very diligent about sizing down when it comes to jeans, but they need to last me at the very least two wears before looking like they need to be re-shrunken in the dryer. Having to wash my jeans every single time I wear them is not an option I am interested in.
4. Ok, this might be a weird one... I have serious issues with back pocket placement. TOO MANY designers get it wrong. See what's happening here? Those pockets have been placed too low, resulting in giving that poor woman a saggy-ass look. Guys, I don't know about you, but I want my ass to look happy and excited to greet the world in my jeans... not sad and droopy. I have to admit, considering my age and the fact that I'm allergic to exercise, my ass is still in quite good condition. Why not let it shine in all its glory?
5. Too low of a rise is not going to cut it. Remember about 10 years ago when jeans got so low that everyone was walking around with their vagina hanging out? Those were some serious bummer times, and I cannot tell you how happy I am that they are over. On that note, like mentioned above and all over this blog, I've had a baby. And what happens after you have a baby, unless you stick to a stupidly strict diet and remember to do those ab exercises WAY MORE OFTEN than I do, or just happen to have amazing genes (I don't), is that your mid section gets a little soft. I need to keep my shit contained; Anything that falls more than an inch below my belly button is going to offend all parties involved. Personally, I like a true high rise (fits right at the waist) because I find it to be the most comfortable fit, but am willing to branch out to something slightly lower if the rest of the fit is amazing.
So go ahead and feel free to arm me with your denim knowledge. I like to do some serious research before taking on such challenges as trying on jeans, so give me all you've got. Cevd claims J Brand is her favorite maker of jeans, but she also insisted that asking someone their "favorite" is a very personal question. Still, I'd like to hear your thoughts.